Hey heyyy! I’ve got a few things I want to cover today for y’all! First, I’ve been sitting on this outfit post for a couple of weeks now so, I wanted to finally get it out to ya, especially after seeing that Abercrombie is currently offering 25% off site-wide. It looks like the 4th of July sales are already starting to pop up! This striped babydoll dress is absolutely adorable. I feel like I’ve been gravitating more towards midi length dresses the last few years but, I also feel like the shorter ones are better in the dead of Summer when you need all the relief you can find! It comes in a few colors and runs true to size. I absolutely love these espadrille wedges because they’re really, really comfortable. I found them in a gorgeous green color that would match this outfit perfectly, as well, if that’s of interest.
My gorgeous butterfly earrings are by Jennifer Behr, who I’ve become recently obsessed with. I thought they were a really fun way to jazz up this outfit a bit, especially being that I knew the backdrop of these photos was going to be one of the gorgeous displays during the Chelsea Flower Show in London. Gorgeous flowers and butterflies go hand in hand so I thought it’d be absolutely perfect. She has a smaller version if those are more your style. My initial necklace is going to be a part of the Nordstrom Sale this year so be sure to put it on your wishlist [see this post on how to create a wishlist].
The straw handbag I’m wearing in these photos is no longer available but I found some other really cute options that I’ll link below for you. I actually think this one is going in my cart for our upcoming trip to Greece. I absolutely love it!
If you’re looking for more of a beach bag, I did a roundup of those kind of straw bags HERE.
Here are some other recent favorites from Abercrombie if you fancy shopping the sale but needing some ideas:
Next up, I wanted to share something that I’ve been thinking about lately. I recorded some Instagram stories sharing my thoughts but decided to opt to share in a way that always makes me feel more comfortable – the written word. Ha, funny enough … I keep tripping up on where to begin …
What I say likely won’t be perfect but that’s never the goal here. Honesty, kindness and being true to myself is so, here we go.
I received a message on Tuesday afternoon from a girl who has followed me for awhile. She’s always been nice to me. But, she was not happy about something I had said on Monday morning on my Instagram. I said, essentially, that I hope my audience has been able to take a step away from this app over the weekend because ‘its’ been a lot – pertaining to the news we all received and the subsequent response to it that we are all subject to digest if we open the app.
She said [without citing her verbatim] I needed to be saying more, not spending time away from the app, especially since I have a platform. She said I needed to be fighting for women and continuing to use my voice to raise awareness.
And her message didn’t sit well with me. I’ll just say that.
I sat with it for awhile to pinpoint what really pissed me off …
… and I came to the word ‘autonomy’.
The word ‘autonomy’ has come up a lot since we all heard the news last Friday. It’s a word I heard a lot in nursing school pertaining to how patients have autonomy over their care. They get to decide [as long as they’re cognitively intact and educated by their medical provider] if they want to go down for a test, have their blood drawn, have their medication that morning, or have a life saving procedure … or not.
I’ve been thinking about that concept as it pertains to my platform.
My platform is just that. It’s mine.
I have autonomy over it. No one else.
That is what bothered me about her message.
And it’s interesting …
I actually did say something about this issue on Friday night. And, by sharing my thoughts on it, I received messages from the other side saying things like ‘you’re going to hell’, ‘I thought you were a Christian’, ‘you need to read the Bible’, ‘I’m unfollowing’, etc. I think I lost over 800 followers to which I could care less.
I only share that to paint the picture that … I literally cannot win when these big events happen in the news that put divisive topics to the forefront of everyone’s minds.
No matter how I use this platform, I am triggering someone.
But the goal isn’t to win. My goal here is to be true to myself and make choices that feel right to me. Not anyone else.
If I want to say something about anything, whether it’s a hot topic or not, I will. If I don’t want to say anything, I won’t.
If I want to say a lot, I will. If I don’t want to say a lot, I won’t.
It’s wildly unfair to expect someone you follow on Instagram, who’s simply sharing what they want on their instagram, to fit into the mold that feels right for you at any given moment. We’re all different and, more than that, we’re all going through stuff. This commenter was basically saying I should have been saying more over the weekend about it but …
What if I was taking a family member to a procedure over the weekend and chose to focus on taking care of them instead of posting my opinion on Instagram?
What if I was grieving the death of a friend but didn’t want to share that publicly?
What if I have personally been battling depression and was having a tough couple of days?
What if I was just really tired from what we had going on over the weekend and couldn’t be bothered to digest all of the opinions flying around on Instagram and then contribute my own? What if I decided to guard my peace?
What if I decided to discuss this issue with my family at length over the weekend instead of talking all about it on Instagram?
And what if I’m just trying to legitimately wrap my mind around what the heck is going on in our world? It’s changing so drastically and so quickly. It’s a lot to process. Why is there an expectation to come out guns blazing and saying something about it immediately?
Let’s normalize respecting how we’re all wired different and we all have different capacities for advocacy — and that capacity can change. And also lets normalize not knowing everything about everyone, ha. Not all superhero’s wear capes so what if I want to advocate for the issues I’m passionate about without posting it all over instagram for applause? How much you post doesn’t equal how passionate you are about something.
Before letting you guys go, I hope you know that I think using your voice is an incredibly valuable and honorable thing. Openly sharing my opinion on topics that are deemed controversial has always been hard for me. I haven’t always understood the value in my voice and have been paralyzed by the fear of confrontation and people not liking me. Thankfully, over the past couple of years, I’ve let that fear go and been more open. But, something I’ve realized being that so many hot button issues have come up over the past two years, is that … it’s also okay if you don’t, for whatever reason, want to use your voice or speak on a topic. Using your voice and choosing your peace are both equally as valuable as the other. You have autonomy over that choice – whether it be on your Instagram platform or in your workplace. Remember that you can make a big impact whether your audience is a large crowd or the three little children you tuck into bed at night – and it shouldn’t matter to anyone else which audience you prefer to nurture.
The world is a lot right now. It feels a little unbelievable, at least it is to me. So, I guess the last thing I want to say … and the underlying jist of all of this is … do what you need to do right now and don’t give a flip if Sharon is okay with it or not.
Okay, I’m cutting myself off. I hope all of that made sense. I see you guys as my friends so I share all of this moreso as a vent sesh not as, like, a ‘you guys need to change’ kind of thing, hah! I write to you guys as if I’m sharing my frustrations with a friend over coffee so I hope that’s how it came out. I appreciate you taking the time to come and hang with me today! Hope you have a good Thursday! I’m off to watch a bit of Wimbledon! xo.
Thank you for your honesty! Love following you for all of your content regardless if my opinion matches yours perfectly. Also love that you are giving yourself what you need in different seasons of life versus trying to people please. Thanks for sharing your journey and your adorable family 😃. May God bless you and your family.
Love this. Much love to you!!
Perfectly put. The expectations put on influencers to answer “the correct way” is ridiculous. I love that you gave your self space to think and evaluate. Do not allow the pressures of society to take your peace or autonomy away.
Thank you for always sharing from your heart.
Well said! I am absolutely pro-life, and shake my head at so many of the rude comments about what others think that means. I believe in valuing both the mom and the baby. I have life experience and a deep faith that has lead me to my view. Many people just regurgitate what they hear without realizing it is nonsense. I appreciate you giving only a little mention and moving on. Many of us come on Instagram for a little escape, and don’t want to be hit over the head with hateful rhetoric. I appreciate they way you expressed your thoughts here.
Thank you loved this post! Showed amazing courage! Proud of you and love following you and your sweet fam!
Kudos. Thank you for recognizing you can never please everyone when it comes to these types of topics. I don’t follow you or visit your website for political content or commentary. We all have other resources for that! But I also appreciate this is your space, so thanks for keeping it honest and addressing the things that you WANT to share! I think influencers (and everyone for that matter) are being forced into publicly taking stances on everything. It is really a shame, because inevitably you alienate one side or the other. There is a reason voting is private and we are told to never talk politics at the dinner table! Let us celebrate the things we all do have in common!
OMG….Amen to ALL of this!! Beautifully said and so spot on! It’s true that the world is a lot right now, sadly. And that everything these days is set to divide us instead of unite us in our similarities AND differences.
Bravo for doing YOU
Love this Haley, wonderfully put! It’s YOUR platform that you built through hard work and discernment. Strangers don’t get to force you to post anything.
I appreciate that you do acknowledge current events, even if you don’t always feel a need to make opinion-heavy statements. Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t want to follow a woman who thinks of nothing but her next material purchase. We follow you for your fashion recs, and also because we like and respect you as a person.
I appreciate how delicately you’ve handled this and many other controversial topics. It’s probably a hard time to feel like you’re in the spotlight. We like you, and keep on keepin’ on. 🙂
This is reeking of white privilege. You don’t want to talk about things because they don’t affect you. Don’t act like this is an attack on bloggers
It’s quite presumptive to say this doesn’t affect me. You don’t know what we have going on behind closed doors. Maybe we’re making strides to move back to the States. You don’t know. But, even if we weren’t and we were staying here, it still matters to me because it affects all women and I have many women in the U.S. that I care a great deal about, some of which have had abortions so this is a big deal to me.
I have spoken out about almost every controversial topic that has arisen over the last two years so don’t tell me that I’m reeking in white privilege. This post isn’t saying that it’s okay to be complacent and passive. What this post is trying to convey is that we, influencers and non-influencers alike, don’t have to yell and scream about everything. We can retreat and process quietly if we need to and act in small ways. It’s not always the loudest person that is making the most strides in activism. Instagram shouldn’t be a measuring stick for performance.
Believe I’m the person who messaged you and “pissed you off.” It’s a bit disappointing that you didn’t acknowledge that our exchange ended amicably, and ultimately I agree that no one can or should make you do or say anything. I did explain that I was surprised at how little you said when you have been very vocal about other issues.
I would ask you, respectfully, to explore how privileged and blessed you are to not be impacted by the overturn of Roe in a way that results in you being called to act loudly in solidarity with the women who will be impacted most.
Hi Alison,
Of course I appreciate that you were willing to listen to my points. I do truly appreciate it and respect that about you. I may not have mentioned it here as I was writing sometimes my train of thought goes everywhere and I don’t say everything I ‘should’.
I can tell that you’re really disappointed I didn’t say more. I can completely empathize how that could feel frustrating when a matter really means a lot to you. However, I think it’s a bit unfair to assume that my lack of posting was because of ‘my privilege’ and because I haven’t been affected by this personally. I say this with the softest heart towards you … you do not know me. You don’t know what I’ve gone through in my life. So, you really can’t say that I’m not affected by this. I’m not saying I have had an abortion and I’m not saying I haven’t. I’m saying … you don’t know. It’s not often something people share freely. And, admittedly, I’ve come across women in my life who have shared with me that they have had one and it surprised me so it’s really not safe to assume.
Moreover, I don’t think everyone that is affected by this decision are raising cane — not that they’re doing absolutely nothing but there are many who are not posting about incessantly. I have people in my life who are outraged about Roe being overturned, who have had an abortion in their past, and are not screaming. They’re crying, feeling hopeless, calling their local representatives at the state level … but, more than that, they’re thinking about what their lives might look like had they not had the choice. They are looking at their children thinking .. my life would have been so different and I wouldn’t have these babies that I love so much. They are trying to figure out how to navigate conversations with their daughters one day when they get to a certain age the harsh reality they live in and how important it is to be really careful. And I say all that because, while I was quiet on Instagram, I was focusing on my people instead, leaning on people who feel safe to me and allowing them to share their heart with me while I do the same with them.
Everyone’s navigating this differently. Sure, there are likely women out there who think ‘whatever, I don’t have to worry about this’ but you can’t make that assumption when you don’t know someone. And you certainly can’t make that assumption about people on Instagram where most people share … in total … 2-4 minutes of their entire day. So much more happens offline than online. Please stop assuming I do not care about this.
xx
Being out on display for everyone to easily critique you just on your physical appearance is likely heavy. Add to it openly sharing your beliefs in a time we are so polarized is just….a lot. I appreciate the angle you took here- your voice. Your page. Your choice. And on this recent issue- I did see you posted and I was very happy to see it. Doesn’t mean you need to “do more publicly” but as a follower I was proud to see it! And if you choose to sit one out and just breathe and hug your family together to preserve your mental well being well I’m proud of that too. Thx for sharing!
I completely agree with you! You are not a politician and anyone in the public eye making controversial statements is setting themselves up for backlash. Your platform is your livelihood and no one can tell you to risk it by commenting on every issue that comes up.
Thanks for sharing this sweetie.
Danielle | thereluctantblogger.co.uk
I spent a lifetime in advertising and learned one thing. 33% of the people will love me, 33% will hate me, 34% won’t even notice me. Just be yourself. “You either is who you is or you is who you ain’t” – Dizzy Gillespie (I think…).
I gave up Instagram for Lent this year and still have yet to reactivate it… And I haven’t felt this free in a LONG time. Social media is incredibly toxic and I don’t envy you one bit for “having” to be on it. Godspeed.
She said what she said! Lol. Good for you. I have never understood why some influencers give into this. Why? I think it’s weird to do something you don’t want to do because other people feel like you should. I own a preschool and I literally have people ask me if I’m a Republican or Democrat? Really?! Let normalize minding our own business and if you feel strongly about something start your own nonprofit organization or meetup group. My Mother used to say, “ Worry about yourself sometimes and make sure you are doing the right thing.” And this is why I follow you!
“How much you post doesn’t equal how passionate you are about something.” Thank you for saying this. I have said a couple of things, but mostly I’ve retreated to process it all in peace with my family. Thank you for always being you.